Three things I learned on the subway today

If you've ever visited New York, you probably found out that you do not mess with New York City when New York City is commuting to and from work. You gotta move. You gotta give some space. You gotta watch yourself. And if you do not, New York City will let you know it.

This brings me to my first lesson.

Lesson #1: Do not bring your giant bouquet of helium balloons on the subway during rush hours.

On my way to work this morning, I saw a guy on the the train holding about three-dozen helium balloons. Those balloons were crowding, among other people, a short older woman, who was clearly miserable about sharing her space with party supplies. Her eyes were shooting daggers. And if those daggers had been real, those balloons would have been history. Everyone on that train was thinking the same thing: "Who is that jerk?"

Tonight, I realized that that jerk is me.

Lesson #2: Do not bring your new, large, fragile lampshade on the subway during rush hours.

This evening, I visited the Jonathan Adler Warehouse Sale (open through Saturday!) and scored a deal on a lamp I've been eyeballing for a while now. I lugged it on the subway from Queens, through Manhattan, and home to Brooklyn--starting at about 6:30pm. My lampshade not only battled irritable commuters for precious train space, but it also had to fight to remain intact from several hazardous happy-hour patrons and sudden train stops. Packed in with tripping hipsters and the train's unpredictable forward motion, I guarded that lampshade from possible dents and rips with every inch of my life.

Was it worth it? Eh, it's cute. But I probably could have saved myself the stress if I'd stopped and considered lesson number three.

Lesson #3: Seriously, sometimes it's better to suck it up and just buy the thing online.

Image source: JonathanAdler.com

Comments

[tess]

hilarious...and very true.

[nichole]

LOL. So damn true.