Relationships in Need of Repair

In the summer of 2011, on the floor of a bathroom, I damaged a really good, really healthy, really important relationship.

Thing is, I'm someone who knows better. I am experienced, and I am careful, and I am considerate. I am gentle, when necessary. Someone even recently told me that I am very "present," and I believe that's true. But sometimes, like all of us, I do things that screw things up. Royally. Like jewel-in-the-crown, drape-it-in-fur, call-it-your-majesty, purple-like-Prince royal.

During a visit to the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, I took a pit stop after seeing an exhibit curated by John Waters. (Said pit stop and Waters' artistic taste were not related, FYI.) Like any lady, I had my bag on me. And like me, I had my camera on me. As you do, I had to hang up both items on the single hook that a ladies' bathroom tends to provide a lady, if that lady is lucky. As luck would have it, as I was exiting the stall, the bag made it back to my shoulder. The camera, however, fell fast, bottom first, to the floor (and you know a bathroom at Walker is tiled in some hard, high-quality stuff, y'all).

Glass: everywhere. Me: panicking, and also grossed out by a bathroom floor. Quickly, though, I realized that the shards were from a filter I had affixed to the front of my (favorite) lens, and not the lens itself. Relieved but still anxious, I cleaned it up and rushed out to survey the real damage.

The camera still seemed to work. The lens was intact and reacting properly--it dragged at first, but then felt okay. The loss of the filter was no biggie. I continued to take pictures throughout the trip and through the summer.

Slowly, however, I started to notice that something was off. My camera and I weren't in sync. My photos, while acceptable, weren't totally working for me. I thought it might be the lens, and, after taking it into a repair shop, I found out I was right. The lens had been bent, but could be tweaked for a fee. I forked it over and hoped for the best.

The first several months after that were, admittedly, better. I went on a few trips, and she came too. We had fun--maybe not as much as before, but we made do. I took her exploring in the neighborhood and out to restaurants. We went to more museums. We avoided bathrooms.

Soon, though, we were struggling. The focus was shifting; things weren't so clear. It wasn't working--and it's still not. We're off and fuzzy and weird. These days, I think the problem wasn't just in her eyes; the real issue lies within her body. Her aging, tired, slightly broken body.

As a result, I avoid her like the plague. We stare down each other like bitter former lovers. I'm all, "Oh, hey, what's up" and she's like, "It all ended because you stopped touching me," and I'm like, "You weren't who I thought you were." And then she says something to the effect of, "We weren't clicking," and I openly judge her because I'm a professional writer and I don't approve of plays on words like that. (And THAT'S a lie, because I clearly do and am just being defensive.)

To try to improve my situation, I gave something else a go. I got all modern and decided to commit to the perky little camera on my iPhone. It's younger and sexier. It doesn't weigh me down. I like to show it off and introduce it to my friends. My mom likes it; my dad LOVES it. It sings me songs and helps me pay my bills. It has an app for that. And it gets the job done.

Except that it doesn't. It's not the same, and I've got to quit kidding myself. I've stopped doing things that are important to me--taking thoughtful pictures, writing lengthy posts to accompany them here on my blog--because I've let my old lady go, and the now-freelance me sort of fears the cost of what it would take to get her back. But I was more myself with her around, so I'm going to fix this mess--or at least find a way to pay someone else to. I miss the real deal something fierce, and I hope you'll stick around as we get our act together. Stay tuned. And in the meantime, follow my little fling on Instagram, won't you?

xo

Want me to push?

I am not sure how it's possible, but as soon as I got home from the breathtaking art installation "the event of a thread" by artist Ann Hamilton, every New Yorker I'm friends with on Facebook popped photos of the show on my timeline. (And we'd all somehow missed each other by minutes!)

If you haven't seen a billion photos on FB yet, here are a few of mine, taken today with my always-fun friend Kristin. I won't go into the details of the exhibition's concept -- hopefully the pics do it a little justice, and if not, you can read about it here. All I'll really say is that it was super smart and really inspiring. But there's only one more day left to see it in person, so if you're a city dweller, definitely get thee to the Park Avenue Armory on Sunday. Just be sure to buy tickets first -- it'll let you skip the long lines that snake way around the building. Because, hey, it's a bunch of swings moving a giant curtain up and down in a big room, y'all. Everybody wants in on that action.

Ann Hamilton's "the event of a thread," Park Avenue Armory, 643 Park Avenue between 66th and 67th Streets, through January 6.

Hello, Zinc Home + Garden

I don't believe I'll ever stop loving shops like Zinc Home + Garden in cute-as-pie Lambertville, New Jersey. I think it's the combo of smart, museum-like collections of items (oftentimes grouped in bowls -- how I love things grouped in bowls!), the smell of antiques mixed with the new (a reminder of every home of every grandmother I ever had), and the fact that, if I am at a store like Zinc Home + Garden, it is probably a Sunday, I am probably with a friend, and we are probably amped up on tea and cookies (or hot chocolate and cake, take your pick).

Get more info on the store here.

5 Shops to Bookmark Immediately

You want the good stuff? Get all up in these joints.

1. Decurate

Well SOMEBODY had to take the name "decurate," and I am glad these folks did. Lots of eco-minded picks plus a few items I've not spied before. Got my eye on this one.

2. Artilleriet

Clean, cool finds from a clean, cool Swedish shop (because you know I love the challenge of digging around a good site when I can't read the language. My motto: If it's too hard to decipher, just go nuts pinning it all on Pinterest).

3. YES

Yup. Over at Herman Miller, I recently did a home office tour (awesome) with artist Andew Neyer, a chap who is part of YES, an independent, artist-run gallery, shop, and studio in Cincinnatti. Among others, Andrew's bold, playful work (also awesome) is available for purchase.

4. Story North

Trust me. You'll like it. Dig a little bit and you'll find a few heavy hitters in there...

5. Toast

Just nice and clean-cut and quiet. Like drinking a warm cup of tea while nibbling on, well, toast. I mean, with butter, at least.

Image sources: decurate.com, storynorth.com, artilleriet.se, yescincinnati.com